


Hiraeth

by indiffrntnewt



Series: my newtmas oneshots [12]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: F/F, M/M, Safe Haven AU, newt is still dead sorry not sorry, some time travelling happens, soniet is canon, thomas is struggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25488301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiffrntnewt/pseuds/indiffrntnewt
Summary: hiraeth/HEER-eyeth/(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was.-“If you could travel back in time, what would you change?”
Relationships: Harriet/Sonya | Elizabeth "Lizzy" (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Series: my newtmas oneshots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1309421
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





	Hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [ethereal - newtmas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17944943) by [bobee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobee/pseuds/bobee). 



Thomas doesn't know how the little hourglass ended up on his nightstand. He doesn't even know if you can call the small wooden structure a nightstand. All he knows is that when he woke up, he automatically reached out towards the small table and his fingers brushed against a small, glass object and he frowned before opening his eyes to see. 

It's quite a pretty hourglass, he decides, after staring at it for a few seconds. Small -- probably not bigger than his pinky finger. Made up entirely out of glass and filled with a shimmery, golden kind of sand. 

Strangely enough, the golden colour reminds him of Newt's hair. 

He sits up and reaches out, softly touching the glass. 

Nothing happens. Why would it?

He thinks hard for all of two seconds, but then picks it up and places it in his pocket. It's probably Minho's. He'd probably forgotten it during one of his visits. Maybe. Maybe it's Sonya's -- the girl seems to like cute objects like this, despite her tough side. Thomas would give it back during breakfast.

The Safe Haven looks pretty and peaceful as usual as Thomas steps out of his hut, immediately spotting his friends on the beach. The ones still left, anyway. 

Brenda is laughing loudly, her hair pulled back in her usual braids now that it's growing out. She jumps on Gally's back, who immediately runs off with her into the sea, past the tall rock at the shore. Minho's already in the water, splashing around, completely soaked. Frypan is nowhere to be seen, and Thomas figures he's probably in the kitchen.

Aris and Sonya are chatting excitedly, both fiddling with small pieces of cloth in their hands. Sonya is leaning against Harriet, who's holding what looks like a shirt, sewing it while smiling at her girlfriend. Thomas recognizes it as the shirt he wore when he first arrived here, and he wonders why it took them so long to fix the small holes in it made by a bullet and a knife. 

An intense, hollow feeling fills his chest and he swallows, turning to his left to sit down at one of the makeshift tables.

They’ve been in the Safe Haven for six months now, and the place slowly begins to feel like home. 

But not really. Not completely. Thomas thinks it never will.

Soon, the others join him, still smiling and wet from the sea. Brenda shakes her head, spraying them all with salt water, and Gally pulls at one of her braids. She smacks the back of his head and they wrestle for a moment before Harriet appears, pulling them apart. 

"Come on guys, let's not kill each other. Yet."

She throws the blue shirt to Thomas, who catches it and immediately feels the lines where the holes used to be. He forces himself not to let his mind wander. 

"I believe this is yours," she says, sitting down and pulling Sonya along with her. Thomas swallows and nods. 

Minho sits down on his right side, clapping his back. "You okay?"

In any other situation, it would be a relatively innocent question. But not in theirs. 

However, Thomas likes to pretend he's not in their situation. 

"Yeah," he lies, forcing a smile. "I'm okay."

Minho softly squeezes his shoulder before letting go. Thomas knows he knows he lied. He can't bring himself to care. They all lie, around here. No one is okay. 

When Frypan comes out with their food, Thomas remembers the small hourglass in his pocket, and he takes it out to take a better look at it. 

It's even prettier in the soft morning light, and Thomas stares at the sparkling sand for a moment before looking up at Sonya, catching her eye. She smiles at him. The gesture looks familiar, but Thomas can't quite figure out why. 

"Is this yours?"

He holds up the hourglass for her to see and she frowns and shakes her head. 

"No. Harriet?"

Harriet leans in closer, squinting her eyes, then shakes her head as well. 

"Looks pretty. Where did you find it?"

"On my nightstand," Thomas answers, looking down at the hourglass. He has the strange urge to turn it around in his hand and see what would happen. "I found it this morning."

"Maybe it's a gift," Minho says, butting into their conversation. He wiggles his eyebrows. "From a secret admirer."

"Yeah, right," Thomas huffs out a laugh. 

"And it wasn't there yesterday?" Brenda asks. She frowns when Thomas shakes his head. 

"I bet it's a gift," Gally says, agreeing with Minho for once. "It looks like one."

"Shouldn't it be wrapped in wrapping paper, or something?" Aris asks. 

"I doubt we have much wrapping paper in this place," Minho shrugs. "Maybe it's a gift from the gods. For you know, being a hero and saving all our asses."

For some reason, the comment stings, and Thomas clenches his jaw. "Funny."

"Maybe it's a time machine," Sonya comments, smoothly changing the subject. Thomas wonders if she somehow noticed Thomas was on edge, and wanted to help him out. 

It's what Newt would have done. 

"A time machine?" Harriet laughs, successfully shifting Thomas' attention from his own thoughts to the conversation they were having. "Since when do they exist?"

"Who knows," Sonya shrugs. "I'd say it's not impossible."

"Wouldn't time machines be bigger, though?" Aris asks. "Like... an actual machine?"

"Maybe it's magic," Sonya says, a small smile on her lips. 

"Magic doesn't exist," Gally comments. He seems more focused on his food than on their conversation. 

Sonya jumps up. "Listen!"

Thomas can't help but smile at her when she grins at them. 

"You know how there are other universes, right?" She asks. "Like, a lot. Every decision you make impacts the universe you're in, and there's infinite universes in which everything is different. Where you chose not to wear that shirt that one day, or where your eye colour is different, and there's probably even one in which the world is still normal because people made different decisions."

Thomas tries to think about it all, but the thoughts make his head spin.

A universe in which the world is still normal?

Thomas wonders what his life would look like if the world was normal. Would he be in school? Would he still know all of his friends? Would his parents be alive?

Sonya continues, more excited every second. If there was one thing that was not familiar about her, it was her spirituality and faith in mythical things like magic and alternate universes. He kind of admired it. 

"So, considering there are billions of different universes, what if we're in the one that does have magic? Where Thomas is holding a time machine right now?"

She finishes and Thomas knows that even though no one probably believes her, she's still satisfied. Usually, when she rants about things like this, no one listens except maybe Harriet. Now, the entire table is watching her. 

"Could be," are Harriet's encouraging words and Sonya smiles at her before sitting down. 

"I still think it's just an hourglass," Minho mumbles next to him.

***

Thomas doesn't know why he can't get the hourglass out of his mind. No matter what he does, what he thinks, his thoughts always circle back to the small glass object, now back on his nightstand. It's the last thing he sees before he falls asleep and the first thing he sees when he wakes up. 

He also doesn't know why he ends up going to Jorge to talk about it.

The older man puts on his glasses for the occasion, studying the hourglass with a concentrated look on his face. Thomas is silent for once, simply waiting, not even sure if he should be here and definitely sure he's acting ridiculous.

Jorge takes off his glasses with a sigh, carefully handing the hourglass back to him. 

"I truly don't know where this came from, hermano."

"Me neither." Thomas pockets the hourglass. "Sonya said it's a time machine."

"Could be," Jorge says, and Thomas wonders if he's spent too much time with the girl. 

"Do you believe in magic?" Thomas asks, a little sceptically. 

"I believe that anything's possible." Jorge smiles at him. "It's a little hard to believe in magic after everything that happened."

"But you think it's possible?"

Thomas doesn't know why he asks. 

Jorge places a hand on his shoulder. It's a comforting gesture, Thomas realizes, and he wonders if Jorge thinks he's crazy.

"Yes, I do."

***

"If you could travel back in time, what would you change?"

Thomas averts his gaze from the dark blue ocean to look at Minho. The boy isn't looking at him, but Thomas knows he's waiting for an answer. 

"You know what," he says. 

Minho looks at him, then, his face grave. Thomas can sense the unspoken words between them, and looks away to stop Minho from saying them. He's not ready to hear them yet. 

"Me too," Minho says instead. 

***

They've been at the Safe Haven for seven months now, and Thomas wants to leave. 

It started as a strange thought in the back of his mind just before he fell asleep. He woke up the next day, staring at the hourglass, and the thought didn't leave his mind. 

It stuck with him. It became a strange, uncomfortable feeling in his chest, always there. 

He doesn't hate the Safe Haven. It's nice, his friends are there, they're safe from WICKED and safe from the cranks, and he doesn't have to worry anymore. He can let go of his past. He can start a new life.

He doesn't want to. 

So, on the fifth day, when the thought of leaving becomes too much, he opens the necklace around his neck and reads the letter over and over again. 

***

He's standing on top of the cliffs. The sea below him is quiet, not as wild as it once was. Thomas figures the climate is changing. He hopes it's for the better. 

"You're not planning on jumping, are you?"

The voice behind him doesn't even startle him. He should've expected it, really. 

"No," he says, not bothering to turn around as he hears Minho walk over to him. "I'm not."

"Good," Minho says. "I don't know what we'd do without our very own superhero."

Thomas can tell Minho's trying to joke about the situation and he forces himself to smile. "Me neither."

Minho looks at him for a moment, and Thomas knows he's thinking about Newt. 

He jumped, once. 

"Dinner's ready," Minho says, his smile somewhat forced. "You coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there," Thomas promises him, and Minho reaches out to squeeze his shoulder before turning around with a grave look on his face. 

When Minho leaves, it's quiet again. The only thing he can hear is the sound of the waves below him. It's strangely peaceful, even if he's standing on top of a tall cliff and he's not a big fan of heights. 

He takes the hourglass out of his pocket and stares at it. Then, he takes the small vial with the cure out of his other pocket, and then Chuck's doll. Lastly, he takes the necklace off.

His hands are full now, and he sits down crosslegged to place the objects in his lap. 

_If you could go back in time, what would you change? ___

__He knows what he would change._ _

__And so, despite his doubts about all of it being true, he picks up the hourglass with his right hand and the three objects with his left hand, and he turns it around._ _

__***_ _

__A shuddering lift. Darkness. Vomit. Coughing, water burning in his lungs, forcing its way out through his throat._ _

__He shudders and feels his heart sink, scrambling forward on his hands and knees and yelling. A pig scares him, and he falls backwards._ _

__He yells, slams the ceiling, terrified._ _

__The lift stops and a red light turns on. He looks around, confused, not entirely sure this is actually happening._ _

__A dream. It has to be a dream._ _

__The light turns green and the ceiling splits open, and Thomas realizes it's not a dream._ _

__A boy jumps down. Younger than the last time he saw him, but meaner as well._ _

__"Day one, Greenie. Rise and shine."_ _

**Author's Note:**

> un-beta'd!
> 
> inspired by the fic 'ethereal - newtmas' by bobee, go read it rn if you haven't!


End file.
